In honor of all the 30 Rock I’ve been watching, I got up at 4 a.m. and performed a comedy sketch. Since brevity is the soul of wit, I estimate that this is the funniest sketch ever. In four acts:

-Wake up with heartburn
-Stumble to dark bathroom
-Shake bottle of Maalox
-Discover, violently, that cap was not on tight.

Nobody was around to see it, but I’m sure right now God and His angels are editing the clip for Earth’s Best Blunders (2011 Edition). I just hope it doesn’t have to compete for space with the time I dropped a roll of aluminum foil and tried to roll it back up.

So between that and yesterday’s driving marathon, I’m pretty tired. There are two cities near me, south and northeast, and although I go northeast weekly, I rarely head south. I don’t like south. South disappoints me. But I was looking for a place to meet my mother for dinner, and managed to find one. So that’ll be fun. It might even be more fun than making late-night comedy and waking up with Maalox in my hair.